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Detached Detachment
Happiness is your Birth Right
Giving is Life
Truth - A Practical Necessity
Taking Responsibility For Life

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Two Swamis Ė Getting Stuck

Detached Detachment ::

Attachment means joined, fastened, cemented, glued, attributed, seized or bound to. When used with reference to human beings, it does not indicate a physical condition but a strong mental relationship. When a person is attached to his mother, wife, son, house, car or profession, it is not a physical bonding. It is a mental process. It means that he continues to desire and long for the possession and control over objects or persons that he is attached to. Attachment is a process of mind.


Objects have no built-in magnetism in them. They neither attract nor do they get attracted on their own. When a personís senses contact any object and his mind starts craving for the enjoyment of its possession, then the thoughts and the magnetism start. A cigarette or a bottle of wine has different value to different people depending on their personal application of mind to that object. Thoughts have a knack of repeating themselves and multiplying in the mind. Repeated thoughts of wanting an object intensifies the desires and generates craving to possess.

If the objects are acquired and possessed, then the desire to hoard and protect takes over, if the objects are not within reach or cannot be acquired due to any reason, then the craving for them usually becomes intense and at times it hurts. The objects overpower a manís mind and make him constantly feel inadequate.

With some minor variations, a personís attachment to another person is similar except that the other person also has own mind and will. A personís birth brings along certain relationships like father, mother, brothers, sisters etc. Attachment with relatives is easy and natural but optional, when a person takes fancy and liking to another outsider either for friendship, companionship or for marriage and the other person is not easily reachable or agreeable, the attachment usually gets very intense and every failure results in increased frustration. In certain cases, a person facing such frustrations suffers untold miseries.

However, after the relationships are established, people get very strongly attached and become selfish and possessive towards certain person/s. Whenever any obstacle comes in between a person and the object or the person longed for, irritation and anger arise in the mind.  Stronger the obstacle, higher becomes the intensity of anger. Uncontrolled and head turning anger creates hallucination and delusion in the mind. 

A personís capacity and ability to see or hear things as they are, is greatly hampered. He starts seeing and hearing things that do not exist. The vision becomes coloured. Temporary loss of wisdom and judgment soon follows. A man without the faculty of balanced judgment and intellectual discrimination is worse than an animal. Attachment to near and dear ones especially the spouse leads to a heightened sense of possession, fear, anxiety, worry and selfishness. It results in the downfall of a person. Greater the intensity of attachment, greater is the risk of fall.

However, if attachment is coupled with detachment, then it leads to love, care, concern and protection. Detached attachment is positive and a selfless approach to relationships and makes a person fulfilled. When a person is attached to his son and the son falls sick, he gets into the fear of losing the son and it makes him sad and unstable. Instead of organizing medical help, his mind gets confused, if he is in a detached attachment mode, he stays calm and balanced and acts to organize what it takes. His immediate concern is for the welfare of his son and it makes him seek ways to comfort and help him. This is the most ideal approach to help his son to recover faster than all worrying and tensions that the attachment can bring forth.

Attachments and Expectations ::

Attachment to any object or person necessarily causes expectation of the enjoyment that its possession will resultí when the expectations are belied and the object or person fails to live up to the expected enjoyment, the result is great disappointment and sorrow. Balanced within and remaining detached towards all external stimuli Ė people, incidents and happenings are the key to energizing joy.


Detached attachment is about positivity in the quality of thoughts in mind. It is not escapism or indifference to the problems of this world. It is becoming sensitive to the feelings, emotions and sufferings of others with a mind full of selfless love, compassion and kindness. It is being compassionate and fully committed to helping others. It is about remaining continuously joyful and peaceful and spreading such positive vibrations to those around. It is about remaining happy in-spite of events not being to our liking.

Detachment is the Key :: 

Even small things do generally affect our state of mind. We get a bit upset when our loved one does not care for our feelings, when we do not get invited to a party hosted by our dear friend or a colleague gets promoted and we are left out. However, this should only be a short-lived phase. We should soon recover and become happy in spite of all such small and even big things. Happiness is really a state of mind. If we can be detached to the events and happenings outside, then any such event will fail to affect us. We certainly cannot change the external circumstances but we can change our attitude to what happens inside us Ė our feelings, our emotions and our attitudes.

These are and should be within our total control. The outstanding example of clinging attachment is seen between misguided couples who frequently seek each other for the convenience they can provide. There is less love but more possession. Spouses who cannot trust each other or tolerate their temporary separation exhibit selfishness and inflated personal ego. A mother may be so attached and possessive of her son that she does not let her son go away from her for higher studies. She may even obstruct his grown up sonís companionship with friends. Such a mother hinders the independent growth of her son. She provides protection beyond limits and in fact makes her son totally dependent on her for every thing thus rendering him incapable of any independent activity or power of decision-making.

The best example of a detached attachment is that of a nurse with patients under her care. Unperturbed both in success and failure of the line of treatment being given to the patient, she brings forth her total dedication and commitment to her job. While administrating a dose of medicine to a patient, she is not affected by the pleasure or pain that is immediately caused. She neither carries any personal ego when a patient in her care gets cured nor does she entertain any guilt when any patient dies.   She employs the full vitality of her body, beauty of heart and purity of intellect into her relentless efforts.

When any person operates from a state of detached attachment, he rises to unbelievable heights in personal spiritual growth and gathers a higher stature and confidence within. He usually attains supreme state of peace and tranquility.

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